


right before my eyes, i fell for you

by xmhao



Series: falling for u [1]
Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Love Confessions, M/M, Maybe? who knows, My First AO3 Post, Unrequited Love, or as close to canon compliant as i could get lmao, read and find out hehe
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-28
Updated: 2019-05-28
Packaged: 2020-03-20 19:43:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,473
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18999241
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xmhao/pseuds/xmhao
Summary: Where Jeonghan and Joshua are best friends and that’s all they’ll ever be.





	right before my eyes, i fell for you

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! Thank you so much for deciding to check this fic out! It's my very first story on ao3 so I'm super nervous~
> 
> I've very recently started writing again, after dropping it for years, so please excuse this mess that awaits :~)
> 
> This fic is 100% inspired by jihan's little video on the viking ride hehe. 
> 
> Once again, thanks for giving this fic a chance! Hope you enjoy~
> 
> (pls go easy on me i'm babie lmaojhdfhfhg)  
> (also, title inspired by falling for u aka jihanators' national anthem)

“Hurry, Shua! The line is getting long!”

Joshua lets out an exaggerated sigh but still smiles to himself as he lets Jeonghan drag him to the viking ride.

It has been Jeonghan and Joshua’s goal to go to Wolmido, just the two of them, for as long as they can remember. But due to their group’s growing popularity, they never found the chance to escape their idol life. Their schedule has been back-to-back with hardly any time to rest in between. Today was a rare moment in which most of the members didn’t have any schedules to attend to, so Jeonghan decided to take advantage of the opportunity.

\--

Joshua had been laying in his bed and catching up on some reading, perfectly content with just relaxing in the dorms on his day off. That is, until Jeonghan came barging into his room, swinging his door open with a bang.

“Shua! We’re going out, get dressed!” Jeonghan said, grabbing Joshua’s book and throwing it onto his nightstand, losing Joshua’s place in the story.

“Hey! I was reading that,” Joshua grumbled, picking the book back up and skimming through it to properly hold his place with a bookmark. Joshua wasn’t a fan of folding the pages over, being the gentleman he is. “What do you mean we’re going out, anyways?”

Jeonghan smirked. “Wolmido.”

That single word made Joshua stop what he was doing and look up at Jeonghan, the book long forgotten and his eyes twice its usual size.

“If this is a prank I’m never speaking to you ever again,” Joshua warned.

“It’s not, I swear!” Jeonghan said, raising his hands up in defense.

“What’s the catch?” Joshua had been wanting to go to Wolmido for years, so this sudden trip was making him a little suspicious.

“There’s no catch, Shua. It’s just gonna be you, me, and that viking ride. Finally.” Jeonghan smiled gently, a far away look gracing his features. It was like he was reminiscing the days when he and Joshua only wished to go to Wolmido together. But now that day was becoming a reality, apparently.

Joshua picked up one of his pillows and threw it at Jeonghan’s face. “Stop making that face, it looks creepy.”

“Hey!” Jeonghan pouted, but Joshua knew it wasn’t serious. “I was just thinking about how this has been our dream for years and it’s finally becoming a reality.”

I knew it, Joshua thought to himself. He knows his best friend too well.

“Well while you’re standing there thinking about the good old days, I’ll be at Wolmido, sitting in the viking ride by myself.” Joshua got up and pulled on a black jacket and some comfortable shoes.

Jeonghan pulled on the bottom hem of the jacket and frowned. “Isn’t this mine?”

Joshua looked down at the jacket he just put on. It had a picture of some girl on it. She had rollers in her hair and was holding a brush and hair dryer. This is definitely not something he would usually purchase for himself. “Huh, I guess it is.” Joshua turned around and was making his way towards the door when he realized there was no one following behind him. He turned around and was about to tell Jeonghan to hurry up, but the face he was making stopped him in his tracks.

Jeonghan was biting his bottom lip, attempting to hide a smile, and his cheeks were tinted a slight shade of pink.

“What’s wrong?” Joshua asked, his eyebrows knitting together in concern.

Jeonghan suddenly broke into a full smile. “Nothing. Let’s go.” He hooked his arm into Joshua’s and rushed him out of his room, ignoring Joshua’s complaints to slow down.

\--

Jeonghan huffs out a sigh. “We could have been on the ride by now if you weren’t so slow!”

Joshua can’t help but giggle at Jeonghan’s cute little pout paired with his crossed arms. Without realizing what he’s doing, he reaches out and pokes Jeonghan’s puffed out cheek. “Maybe if you hadn’t stopped to get us these ridiculous hair sprout clips we could have been closer to the front of the line.”

Jeonghan’s pout only grows. “How could I not get us these! They’re too cute!”

Joshua couldn’t disagree there. He looks up at the tiny sprout sticking out on top of Jeonghan’s head. It did look quite adorable on him. He reaches his hand over to flick at it, but is stopped by Jeonghan’s own hand wrapping around his wrist.  
“Don’t you dare think about it, Hong.” Jeonghan warns, his eyes narrowing. “Leaf my sprouts alone.”

There’s a slight pause before Joshua bursts out laughing and playfully slaps Jeonghan on the shoulder. “Oh my god, you did not just say that.”

Jeonghan can’t keep up his angry charade any longer and explodes into a fit of laughter. “Admit it, it was good.”

Joshua lays his forehead on top of Jeonghan’s shoulder and tries to steady his breathing from all the laughing. “I have no idea why I’m friends with you.”

Jeonghan snorts. “You love me.”

Joshua looks up at Jeonghan with a cheeky smile on his face. “Yeah, I do.”

Jeonghan turns away and bites his bottom lip, hoping that his reddening face isn’t too obvious. He tries to distract his racing heart by huffing out an inflated sigh. “This line is taking forever. Should I just go to the front and tell them who we are?”

Joshua rolls his eyes. “Every time you joke about that I’m scared that you might actually do it one day.”

Jeonghan giggles. “God, I can’t believe we’re finally gonna go on the viking ride.”

“No screaming and hanging onto me for dear life when you get scared,” Joshua teases, poking at Jeonghan’s arm.

“What makes you think a boat going back and forth is gonna scare me? I’ve been on worse rides.”

“You literally ran away screaming when Cheol yelled at you for slamming the door when we left.” Joshua smirks at Jeonghan’s paling face.

“Hey, there’s nothing scarier than an angry Seungcheol, okay?” Jeonghan shudders at the memory; he can still hear Seungcheol’s ‘Jeonghan-ah!’ echoing down the dorm corridors.

A light bulb suddenly goes off in Jeonghan’s head. “What if we made a bet?”

“What are we betting?” Joshua eyes him suspiciously.

“We have to stay completely emotionless for the entire ride. Not a single laugh, smile, or scream. Whoever shows emotion first has to share a secret the other person doesn’t know.”

“Uh, sorry to break it to you Jeonghan, but we’re best friends. We know each other inside and out, I’m pretty sure we don’t have any secrets left.”

“Hm, we’ll see.” Jeonghan hums innocently.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Joshua asks, eyes narrowing.

Jeonghan ignores the question and instead starts jumping up and down. “Shua! Shua! It’s right there!”

The line had started moving and soon enough they were at the front of the line. Joshua has to hold onto Jeonghan’s arm to keep him from bouncing around all over the place with child-like excitement. Joshua can’t help but inwardly gush over Jeonghan’s lit up face as he takes in the sight of the viking ship with shining eyes.

When it’s their turn to board the ride, Jeonghan is so excited for their turn that he doesn’t notice the steps in front of him. Luckily, Joshua grabs his hand before Jeonghan falls flat on his face.

“Hey, I know you’re excited, but try to watch where you’re going,” Joshua says, amusement dancing in his eyes.

“Yeah yeah yeah, hurry Shua! I want to sit in the back,” Jeonghan says, dragging Joshua up the steps and towards the back of the ride.

They take their seats in the very last row, hands still clutching each other’s. Joshua doesn’t even realize it until Jeonghan squeezes his hand anxiously. He ignores how natural it feels to have Jeonghan’s hand in his, how perfectly they fit together.

“Nervous?” Joshua teases, squeezing his hand back.

Jeonghan grins. “Not at all.” The smile on his face drops and his features take on a serious tone. “No emotions, don’t forget.”

Joshua wipes the smirk off his face. “No emotions.”

Jeonghan removes his hand from Joshua’s to retrieve his phone from his pocket. Joshua tries to ignore the nagging feeling that’s telling him to take his hand back, tries to ignore the empty, lonely feeling in his palm.

He faces forward in his seat and maintains his serious expression, preparing himself as the ride begins.

From the corner of his eyes, he can see Jeonghan raising his phone up, as if to take a selfie.  
“H-” Joshua starts to protest, but then Jeonghan smiles and greets their fans in a video, so Joshua quickly adapts and smiles and waves to the camera, a skill he picked up in the idol world.

When Jeonghan is finished with the video Joshua lightly punches him on the arm. “What was that about?”

Jeonghan smiles innocently to himself, reviewing the video he just took. “Hm? What was what about?”

“I wasn’t even ready for the video,” Joshua whines. “I was practicing my serious face! I probably look so dumb in your video.”

“You do, but a cute kind of dumb,” Jeonghan says, giggling.

“Hey, wait a minute,” Joshua says, his eyebrows raising and a small smile forming on his face. “You lost the bet.”

“Did I?” Jeonghan muses, not averting his gaze from his phone.

“You have to tell me a secret I don’t know. If one even exists.” Joshua says, smirking. There’s nothing he doesn’t know about Jeonghan. They’ve known each other for so long. Have seen each other through their best and worst times. Shared deep and long conversations in the middle of the night. Jeonghan is his best friend. He knows everything about him.

“Oh, there’s one alright,” Jeonghan says, finally raising his eyes to meet Joshua’s.

There’s something about the look in Jeonghan’s eyes that sends a strange feeling down Joshua’s spine.

Jeonghan smiles, but the smile doesn’t meet his eyes the way it normally does.

Joshua is suddenly overcome with an overwhelming urge to touch Jeonghan. His hand, his cheek, his hair, anything. He can’t pinpoint where this feeling is coming from, but it’s there and Joshua doesn’t know what to do with it. He wants to reach out and hold his hand, wants to do something to make that sad look in his eyes disappear. Why didn’t he notice his best friend was going through something this whole time? What kind of best friend is he if he fails to notice that something made Jeonghan upset?

“Jeonghan-” Joshua starts, his hand hovering by Jeonghan’s, hesitating.

“Thank you for riding The Viking today. Please carefully make your way towards the exit and watch your step. We hope to see you again soon.”  
“Wh-” Joshua looks around, bewildered. The ride can’t be over already. He didn’t even get to enjoy it with Jeonghan.

“Let’s go, Shua. Other people are waiting for their turn.” Jeonghan gets up and makes his way towards the front of the ride, not waiting for Joshua to catch up with him.

Stunned, Joshua chases after Jeonghan. When they’re both off the ride, Jeonghan starts walking around aimlessly, not looking back to see if Joshua was following him.

“Han,” Joshua calls out, trying to keep up.

Jeonghan stops and turns around. A smile is on his face, but it doesn’t seem right. He almost looks scared of something.

“Shua, I have a secret to tell you,” Jeonghan says, the smile still plastered on his face. But his eyes wandering, not meeting Joshua’s.

“Oh, what is it?” Joshua starts to get the weird, creeping feeling down his spine again.

“Let’s go sit somewhere, maybe a little more private?” Jeonghan turns back around and continues walking, Joshua following behind him.

They end up exiting the amusement park and make their way down to the beach right next to it. They walk along the water for a bit in silence, until Jeonghan decides on a place to settle. They sit far enough from the water so that it doesn’t wet their clothes, but close enough for the ocean to tickle their feet.

A few moments go by before Jeonghan finally takes a deep breath.

“So, my secret,” Jeonghan smiles, looking out at the gray overcast sea.

Joshua waits for him to continue, not letting his eyes leave Jeonghan’s face. He looks over his features, his perfectly sculpted jawline, the slope of his nose, the curve of his lips. He’s beautiful. Joshua has always known his best friend is beautiful. He could write a novel on Jeonghan’s visuals alone. As for his personality, he’d rather keep that information for himself. Not everyone would be able to understand Jeonghan’s mind. He’s the one and only person who could keep up with him, the one and only person who has been able to keep up with him. He knows that fans like to call them “evil twins”, but he likes referring to themselves as two halves of a whole. He can’t imagine his life without Jeonghan.

“Shua,” Jeonghan continues. “Remember when we first decided that going to Wolmido would be one of our goals for the future?”

“Of course, it was the day we were guests on Battle Likes,” Joshua says, wondering why Jeonghan was bringing this up.

Jeonghan’s lips twitched, his smile growing a bit. “From that day on, I made it one of my top priorities to take you to Wolmido and get you on the viking ride.”

Joshua chuckles. “Seriously? You didn’t have any other priorities that were more important than that?”

Jeonghan closes his eyes. “You’re my top priority, Shua.”

Silence.

Joshua is sure Jeonghan could hear the rapid beating of his heart, the gulp of his throat, the shivers up his spine.

What does this mean? Joshua is too afraid to ask it out loud. He’s afraid of the answer, afraid of what will change between them.

So he doesn’t say anything.

He just wishes. Wishes he could reach out and hold onto Jeonghan. Wishes he could wipe away the tear falling slowly from his eye. Wishes he could feel the way their hands fit together, like they were made for each other. Two halves of a whole.

But he doesn’t move.

Time passes.

It begins to rain.

Joshua wonders how God knows how his heart is feeling. Wonders how God could expose his inner thoughts through the weather. Wonders if Jeonghan understands.

Of course he does. They’re best friends after all.

Best friends.

And that’s what he tells Jeonghan.

\--

Days go by and nothing has changed.

Jeonghan still jokes around with Joshua like nothing happened between them.

Because nothing did.

They’re still best friends.

Nothing has changed.

Especially Joshua.

Joshua still wants to hold Jeonghan’s hand.

But he doesn’t.

And he never will.

**Author's Note:**

> okay this was not supposed to have any angst at ALL
> 
> but i had NO idea where i was going with this tbh dfjkghdjfg
> 
> it was supposed to be a cute fluffy amusement park date but it turned into this mess for some reason . idk . 
> 
> like i said, i haven't written in YEARS.. i'm talking at Least a decade.... i'm trying to get back into the swing of things and figure out a writing style, etc... writing is Hard . 
> 
> i also had a whole lot of other ideas i wanted to incorporate into this fic but my brain kept diarrhea-ing and ended up sharting out whatever this is...
> 
> uh anyways.... fjhgdfgf
> 
> follow my twt i guess?? @shuauwu <3
> 
> please drop some fic prompts i need a lot of practice lmao....
> 
> p.s. if there are a bunch of grammar and/or spelling mistakes it's bc i didn't read over it even once when i finished it lol.....


End file.
